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Menopause is a transition that is so hushed, misunderstood, and often considered “taboo” in our culture. But what many fail to notice is that menopause is a beautiful new chapter in life that deserves respect, recognition, and reverence.
I'm on a mission to change the conversation around menopause to one of profound power and wisdom – because at this stage in life, we have ARRIVED!
Also on this mission is my guest on today's episode of On Health, the multi-Emmy Award-winning midlife enthusiast and champion of women's stories, Tamsen Fadal.
Tamsen is openly sharing her personal menopause journey, confronting a pervasive lack of knowledge about it, and challenging stigmas about getting older through her substantial following, her “Coming Up Next” podcast, and a forthcoming book and documentary on menopause and the power of midlife.
In this episode, Tamsen and I discuss the world of menopause and pro-aging, exploring topics including:
- What it means to be a “midlife enthusiast”
- The freedom in telling it like it is
- Tamsen's on-camera hot flash moment and how it contributed to a redirect in her life and work
- Her thoughts on and experience with hormone therapy
- Tropes she would love to see dispelled when it comes to menopause
- The duality of embracing aging while doing what makes her feel her best.
Join us as we change the narrative about menopause and celebrate our wise selves! Whether you are transitioning through perimenopause, in menopause, or aren't even close, this episode is packed with wisdom that all women need to hear.
Thank you so much for taking the time to tune in to your body, yourself, and this podcast! Please share the love by sending this to someone in your life who could benefit from the kinds of things we talk about in this space. Make sure to follow me on Instagram @dr.avivaromm to join the conversation. Follow Tamsen on Instagram @tamsenfadal and visit her website at www.tamsenfadal.com
This transcript has been edited for clarity.
Aviva: My guest today, Tamsen Fadal is a journalist with a long history of uncovering the stories that inspire others while reporting is her profession. Earning her 13 Emmy Awards reporting on Hurricane Sandy, the Columbia Shuttle crash and the Afghanistan war. Tamsen's passion is telling women's stories that often happen behind the headlines. Doing so has brought her around the world. For example, traveling the globe with UNICEF to document its work, particularly focusing on the struggles faced by women and families in areas of the world. Most of us will never see ourselves. Her stories reveal how these women transform their lives in the midst of significant life changes.
So perhaps it's no surprise that now she's become one of the voices for the millions of women going through another major life transformation: Menopause. Her own journey with its accidental – and quite public – beginnings has now led her to gather information, talk to experts, listen to other women's stories, and learn more about navigating a major question for women in this time of not only seismic hormonal changes, but often massive life shifts. She asks, “Now what? in new, bold ways her own transition into menopause.
Launched her into her role as a midlife enthusiast, nicknamed the TikTok Fairy Godmother. She shares tips and advice with over 200,000 followers so that women don't feel alone navigating this new phase in their lives. And on her podcast. Coming Up Next with Tamsen, she guides women through moving through midlife changes, menopause, new career directions, and all the other choices and possibilities that we may face at this time in our lives.
She is also a strong voice in raising breast cancer awareness after losing her mother to the disease in 1990 and her stepmother in 2022. She works with Let's Talk Menopause, Breast Cancer Research Foundation, and is a national board member of Best Buddies International and her much anticipated fourth book on empowerment at midlife is underway as is her documentary.
Tamsen, welcome and thank you for joining me on the show.
Tamsen: Thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here.
Aviva: It's a pleasure.
Alright, let's just jump right into where it kind of all began in this iteration of what you're doing. Let's start with your origin story as a menopause advocate. Many women who have entered menopause probably have a hot flash story coming at the very worst possible moment, but not as many can say it happened on live television. What happened and how did you feel and react?
Tamsen: Yeah, I didn't know what it was actually. My heart was racing out of control. I was in the middle of the newscast on a Friday night. It's about 10:30 and we were in a commercial break, and I had been having trouble — I would see a word and not be able to retain it. I would see a word – whatever it was – say computer – and not be able to pronounce it out!
And that was going on for, I don’t know, the first half hour of the show. And then during the commercial break, I got that heart racing and control. I could feel the heat coming up through my body, which I had had recently, but never used the word hot flash or thought about it. It was a racing heart that really, really scared me and I thought I'm going to pass out and I don’t know exactly what to do.
So, I said out loud, we had a studio of all men, the camera operators, a man, most of the guys behind the scenes and my co-anchor and a sports anchor. And I said, if I fall over someone catch me. Half joking, half this might really happen, so I should probably warn somebody. And the sports anchor had the foresight to go, “I think you need to get off the chair” because we sit on these elevated stools behind the anchor desk and he goes, “Maybe you should come with me.” And so, I got off the stool, he said, I lost all color. And he thought, a woman my age, maybe I was going to have a heart attack. That's what he thought was happening because it was just, it's the, it's everything. It's a nausea, it's the heart, it's your heat. And he walked me, and I said, I think I need to go the bathroom. And I went to the bathroom floor and literally just spread out across the tile on the floor and never finish out that newscast.
That was the first time that I had ever felt like I was not in control of myself and didn't know what was going on. And that set me in motion to figure it out. And not long after that, the pandemic hit. So, I had a lot of free time. We were doing our shows from home at that point, and I started a podcast of my own to try and really get some information at the same time going doctor to doctor to figure out what it was. And then I finally had my OB, who had been my OB forever, send a note in the patient portal that said, “In menopause any questions?” And that was it. And I thought, oh my what? I can't be a menopause. I was late forties. I was like, that's not even possible. I would know if I were.
And yeah, that sent me on the course. And so, I lost my mother to breast cancer when she was 51 years old. So, she had an estrogen-based breast cancer. And so, for a long time in my mind estrogen was just bad and caused problems and I would always be very aware of anything that had soy in it because I was so paranoid. So, when I went to one doctor, they said, well, you should start with hormone replacement therapy, which will be an estrogen and progesterone, I said oh no, not me. So, she prescribed it to me and it sat in my medicine cabinet until the progesterone kind of jelled together. And then I just really had a really tough time symptoms that were just not allowing me to do my day-to-day job or life. And then I realized I need to make a change. So that's where I'm today.
Aviva: Yeah, that’s wild. I mean I think the hot flashes would be scary enough with that feeling of fainting because it's a very overwhelming, unusual sense of heat rising that can cause you to flush and have that lightheaded feeling and those heart palpitations. But I would imagine that also not just being on national television and trying to read and being unable to recognize and articulate words, but women have said to me, “Am I having stroke?” “Am I having early dementia?” They've been really scared about that.
Did any of those thoughts cross your mind when this was first happening?
Tamsen: Nothing. All I have ever sat was a cloud of what my mother went through, and I didn't really know. So, and now in retrospect I realize had severe hot flashes, but she was going through chemotherapy at the same time. So, for me, the only thing that I was ever fearful of was breast cancer. I didn't think of anything else. I didn't think about osteoporosis or heart disease or menopause, quite frankly, we never even used the word. She was very young when she started going through all that. Now I realize that she was in a surgically induced medical menopause, but I did know that at the time.
So no, I never had any of those concerns. And the doctors that I went to, one gave me the traditional, you can get through this, you can see women have gone through it since the beginning of time. The other one said, “Oh my gosh, I can't wait to go on estrogen because it'll help my skin and I want to stay looking young.” And then another one was like, here are 10 things you can do.
When you're somebody that goes looking for answers and you get 10 different answers, in my case, three or four, you just kind of shut down and didn't know what to do and started doing my own research.
Aviva: So, you had this experience and then subsequently you posted a video on TikTok listing 34 menopause symptoms, many of which women might not realize are symptoms of menopause, which often get women misdiagnosed or inappropriately treated for something else. And this TikTok video went viral, it got over a million views. And since then you've become a prominent voice on #menopausetalk. Why did you decide to speak out about the experience and were you at all surprised how much of a nerve this struck with women?
Tamsen: I was surprised at how much of a nerve it struck and then I was surprised at some of the reactions, as in “Why are you doing that?” “You're going to in your career early if you're going around talking about that at your age”. I was surprised by that because I feel like we've come at a time where time we should be able to talk about anything. And this was something that was so private and hush hush that I think really surprised me. And as well as I do, looking at this space over the course of the last 12 months, everything has just changed.
I remember I brought up to somebody I'd be interested in talking more about workplace policy and I said, no one's ever going to do that here in the us. And I said, I don’t know, they're doing a lot in UK and all of a sudden there is one huge company after another doing it. So that's just to say when people realize that whoever it is serious about this conversation, they listen and they're not afraid and they're not embarrassed to talk. So, I think some of the women that I've heard come out, I heard somebody say the other day, I had a hot flash and I went, okay, but you probably were having it for a while, but now it's okay to do it. And I'm grateful for that. I'm grateful that people are not ashamed, and I hope they talk about it more and publicly because I think it's so important.
Aviva: You know it’s funny- a few years ago I was sitting and doodling a cartoon. It just came to my mind the accommodations that need to be made in the workplace for both breastfeeding moms and also menopausal women. So, I'm not an artist by any means, but I drew this funny little two frame cartoon and it was a desk and there's this electric sort of setup on the desk that can be alternated to have either a breast pump attachment or an electric fan attachment for depending on what phase you're in of life. I think there's a business in desks for menopausal and breastfeeding mamas.
I want to talk about this issue. I mean, you're very much in the public eye. Both of us have to be on video a lot, you much more than I do, but with my work, it's significant. I'm just turned 57,
Tamsen: Congratulations.
Aviva: Thank you. Menopause is of course very wrapped up in stigma around aging. I saw a really wonderful and brave post that you did recently on your Instagram where you're basically reading out all the trolls and haters. “Go home, grandma,” Why are you talking about this?” And I saw a woman who has an amazing menopause feed called Aging with Grace. I think she's in New Zealand or Australia. Great woman. Yeah, she's great, right? She's in her fifties. She's always showing what she's doing for strength training and fitness, and she's gotten some of the same feedback. “Why are you showing yourself underwear or workout clothes?
To me, I’m like, oh my God, this is so brave and so inspiring. You have also shared publicly, which I really commend you for your use of Botox for example. And I'm so curious as to how you internally are dealing with the duality of embracing and respecting and loving and honoring our naturally aging bodies as fine wine, and yet intersecting with this really public persistent expectation that we as women stay looking like we're basically like 38 to 42, at the most, forever. And this is real. I mean, women in their late fifties, mid-late fifties are aging out of jobs or they're feeling pressured to do things to us to stay in the game, if you will. But sometimes these things have side effects and they're dangerous. So how do you reconcile this external demand and internal, or maybe for you internally, you do want those things, but I respect all of it.
Tamsen: No, I think that there's, well look, that expectation I've had since I was 30 years old in television. It was early on. I remember somebody saying to me, when you're 35, 40 years old, you're going to cap out of this business, and you've never seen a young anchor next to an older woman. And I thought, well, yeah, now I'm the older woman that's sitting next to the younger male anchor.
So yeah, I'm very aware that there's too much pressure on us as a society. And then I also want to feel good for myself internally. So, I don't want to apologize for that at 52 going on 53 years old. So, I feel like if I'm doing something that I don't think is over the top, I've done things to tweak myself. I've not had plastic surgery, but I've done things to make myself feel a little bit better. And I think that's okay. I mean, I stare at myself in this little box every day. And on a bigger one. So, I do have those feelings that, hey, I want to look as good as I can look. I don't want to go overboard though, because I don't want to have to be doing that the rest of my life either. We have a long runway ahead of us and I don't want to take the time to do it, first of all. So, I want to age in kind of gracefully, but I also don't want to feel like, okay, I don't care at all. I do care. And that's the truth. And so, I try to be honest about that. So, I get both sides of it. I get people that are like, it's awful what you're doing. Why are you showing Botox? And then the people that are really a cheerleader and commend the fact that I'm being honest about it.
I'm never like, you should go do this. I try to present it. I do the news. I was like, this is what I do. Here's the pros and the cons, and this is where I sit with it, and you can do what you want because I think it's really important. I just had this four-week run of no color in my hair. And so, we've talked a lot about, I have cheerleaded for people that have decided to go totally gray, but it's not something that I chose to do. But I did go longer, and I showed the spray that I put in there and I got fun comments back. And I think that my goal and everything I do is try to be as authentic as I can possibly be versus worry about is somebody getting mad at me because I did Botox or not think I'm aging just because I care if I have wrinkles or not. I think that's important to me at the end of the day.
Aviva: I think it's powerful as women to be honest with our choices. And I think that the transparency really helps because you have women who just look like they're 40 when they're 60 and they're saying they're not doing anything and maybe they're not, they're just look that way. But I think for other women it sets up this confusing expectation, especially when you've also got the wellness movement saying, well, if you just eat this way and do all these things, you're going to look young. But if those people are doing those things, it's misinforming people of what is a realistic expectation.
Tamsen: Yeah, I mean, I think there's a 360 approach. I was actually talking to a friend of mine, and she said, “Well, is holistic the only way to go?” And I said, “Listen, I think that that is a proactive step in every part of your life if that's what you want to do. But if you get to a place where I got to a place where there was no other way for me to go, to be able to function on a daily basis at work, to be able to function within a relationship, to be able to feel like I wasn't wanting to crawl in a hole every day, that hormone therapy was necessary for me and I don't want to apologize for it.” And I've had people say, “Wow could you do it? It's terrible to do. You lost your mother to breast cancer.” But the truth of the matter is that that's what is working for me. To be able to have a mind where I can think in a relationship with the people that I love, and that's really important.
Aviva: It's really important. And one of the things that for me is sort of central to what I do is not being dogmatic or polarizing about things, but to say we have all these options to choose from. And as long as we know the risks and benefits and have somebody we can trust, who can help us stay informed – not everyone's a journalist or a doctor – and so finding the information can be really hard. And there is a lot of misinformation. I'm working on a bigger piece right now on hormone replacement therapy, menopausal replacement therapy. I think the Women's Health Initiative trial, the way it got canceled was terrifying for so many women. And I mean, half of all women went off of their hormone replacement therapy. But I always say to my patients, it's like, “But if you're miserable, if you're not sleeping, if you feel bitchy all the time, if you're just struggling, that's not productive either.”
So, if there were anything that you could change about the cultural misinformation or judgments around women and menopause, what would be some of the tropes that you would just love to see dispel?
Tamsen: Well, I hate it the word taboo, as in “ it's such a taboo topic.” I was like, no, no, no, no, it's not anymore. I know it was, but I want to see that change. Obviously the fact that there needs to be real education about hormone therapy, and that 20 years later we're still confused ourselves about how to approach it with people that might be against it.
I had a reporter call me recently and we went through this whole conversation talking about menopause in the workplace, and at the very end she said, “Can I you a question?” I said, “Yeah.” She goes, “What do you do if your doctor is just kind of blowing you off and not paying attention to you?” And I went, my gosh, she's researching this deep way down here, researching everything, but all of us have that vulnerability. And so I guess I would really like people to feel like they're their own advocate. I'd people to all feel like they're their own champion and that they can say, hey, this doctor's telling me to suck it up. That's not okay. Or this doctor doesn't believe in hormone therapy. So that's what I have to accept. I think those are the things I would like to change.
I think also the fact that women at this age are somewhat invisible. I don't have children my own, but it's still, it's a moment in time where you realize like, oh wow, I can't have children of my own anymore. And that was something that I really had to sit in and really listen to myself and see how I was feeling, because I think there's this feeling of worthlessness that women sometimes have, and I want that to go away. I've had it myself, but it's not okay.
Aviva: What are some of the pieces about menopause that you have most struggled with in terms of your self identity? And then what are some of the parts that you're also finding really exciting and juicy about this phase of your life?
Tamsen: Well, I'll start with the exciting juicy. I think the exciting juicy is my filter has been removed. And so, I think that's kind of nice. And I've realized who I'm and what I really think, and when you're in TV news, a lot of times you're reading a teleprompter, and I'm not in an editorial type of the business. I'm just the facts girl. And so, I think it's kind of nice to be able to be honest with myself and then also be honest with people who are coming up at this age. So, I talk to a lot of people who are 20 or 30 or 40 years old who've never even heard the word perimenopause. So that excites me to be able to educate there. I really appreciate that. And I'm not a celebrity. And so, for me to be able to have these conversations with people in a very real way on social media is kind of cool to be able to do that. I appreciate it. I hope that comes across that I'm appreciative of that community.
And then for me, the biggest frustration is how to change a lot of different habits between sleeping and working out has been tough. Even with hormone therapy, my body is different. It just is different and it's a little bit more of a struggle. And late-night pizza, Mexican food, margaritas doesn't work like it used to work. Lack of libido, that kind of really sucks when you get married at 50 years old for a second time. And so those are some of the things that I have had to learn how to either work around or to accept. And some are harder than others, but those are the three things I think more than anything. I'm grateful though that my mindset is where it should be. Now finally, because it wasn't there for a long time,
Aviva: What are some of the biggest mindset shifts that you've had that you really say, okay, this is where I'm at now and I'm really happy with this way of thinking and being.
Tamsen: I think I spent a lot of time with that self-talk of “When am I going to be enough? Is this going to be enough now? What am I supposed to be doing? I achieve this. What am I going to do? What do I have to do next?” And I think that that was a lot of the mindset in my career for all of these years. I think today my mindset is how can we educate more women? What do I need to do? How quickly can I help get a menopause policy in place? Things that I would've never, didn't even know to know about? My to-do list today versus my to-do list five years ago is very different.
Aviva: I’m so with you on that, I find myself thinking much more about legacy and mentorship. Yes, me too.
Tamsen: Yes, me too. A hundred percent. And I don’t know when it happened, but I think that's how it's supposed to happen, because it wasn't something planned. I didn't set out to go, you know what I'm going to do next? I'm going to have a legacy or I'm going to implement a policy. Those were never, that's not who I am. I reported on those people. But I think that I get so many messages from people that are so raw and real, and I don't have to tell you the stories of women that it breaks my heart. And I think because I didn't have a mother there for me during this time, or even earlier, my mother died when I was, I had just turned 20 that I can't be everyone's mom, but I can be somebody's big sister, mentor, and whatever else because I didn't have that. And I think a lot of people are in that situation. And I went through life not realizing there were a lot of people in the same situation.
Aviva: What are some of the stories that stand out for you that have really just grabbed you and said, oh, I want to reach through my computer and hug this person?
Tamsen: Yeah, I mean, this was just recently had a woman tell me after 25 years, her husband up and left her. She was right in the middle of perimenopause into menopause, and she gained a bunch of weight and just felt like her job was over. She was living with him because of the money situation but didn't want to be there. It was awful, awful. And then I've had others that have not been able to find doctors and have gone from doctor to doctor and just don't feel heard. That's a big one. And then others that just feel like they can't keep things together at work and have had to leave careers, careers that they really, really love. And I think that those are three really pivotal places to start in terms of this advocacy, fight, movement, whatever we want to call it, to try to help, because for every one of those stories, I can't imagine how many women are out there.
Aviva: And you're working on a documentary and a book on life changes? Can you tell me about this? I'm excited to hear.
Tamsen: Yeah. Yeah. I mean, obviously I'm not a doctor. So, the book has a lot of different experts in it, and it comes from a woman that's in the career world and has tried to manage it and tackle it. And what I also did is include a lot of the community because I think that's important for me to make sure I have their voices as well. And I'm not just answering my own questions in my head because I can't obviously cover all of that. So that's what the book is about.
And then the documentary has shifted a little bit since we actually started it, which is exciting for me. We've brought on some partners out on the west coast, so there's four women that have come together to put the documentary together, and it looks like we have placement for it finally. So, we'll be able to announce that soon.
But it really is to just talk about this overall as what we're dealing with as a whole, not just like a haha funny hot flash story or this woman, that woman, but it really is as an overall country and experts and world to be able to help women in all aspects, not just in one or two, not just say, you've got a pill, you've got a patch, you've got this, you've got that. You can deal with it. Everybody comes to this differently. And the mental part of that is a really, really big deal. And I think that if we talk about the mental health crisis and what's going on in this country, this has to be addressed as women of our age and women who are in this place, especially when they come so young. It doesn't start at 50.
Aviva: I couldn't agree with you more. And I think what's so front and center are the physical changes and aging issues, the weight, the discomfort with hot flashes, the sleep issues, but talk about menstrual health being a Sixth Vital Sign, what our symptoms tell us really have implications for our longer term cardiovascular, cognitive bone health. I mean, historically it's sort of like, okay, this is this age where we're kind of coming into the home stretch or over the hill or at the end of something. But really this is the beginning of the next 30, 40 years.
And so good bone health, I mean hip fractures are one of the biggest reasons that women end up in nursing facilities. There's high mortality associated with these. As we enter menopause, our cardiovascular risks start to become equal to men's. And these are things I feel like aren't being talked about enough and they sound so morbid, but the thing is, if we talk about them, then we can increase not just our lifespan, but our health span.
What are some of the non-negotiables for you in your life now? You mentioned exercise, eating differently. How are you working your way through what's right for you now and what are some of those things?
Tamsen: Yeah, it's been different. Intermittent fasting has been helpful for me just because it gives me a little bit of discipline in the day. I think inflammation – everyone talks about that right now. It's not as easy, but I'm trying. I'm a coffee junkie, so that's been hard.
And with regard to working out, I used to be the runner and I used to do the treadmills. I was beads of sweat if there wasn't a pool of sweat, it was not a successful day. I've given myself a bit of a break and allowed walking and yoga to be that. And I feel good about it. I do a lot of weight training, because that’s something I actually enjoy, and I don't even consider a workout if you have fun in it.
And sleep has been something that I have ignored as news person because I was on one end of it, getting up at two 30 in the morning to be at work by three. And on the other end of it going midnight. And I actually just newscast came across our 10:00 newscast as a result out earlier, need to be doing other work. I'm in this other advocacy and that's important to me. But again, if you'd have told me five years ago, I was going to say, oh my gosh, I'm in the number one market in New York. It's always where I wanted to be and be on the late news and say no to that and scale back a little bit on it so I could do this other work. I wouldn't know who you were talking about, but I'm proud to say it's me now.
Aviva: That's beautiful. You've been doing, oh, of course. You're welcome. You've been doing quite a lot of interviews and having conversations with women moving through this phase, new career directions as you mentioned. I mean, this is a very common time in life, not to be scary, but a common time in life when women do find themselves suddenly not married anymore, even after long-term marriages or kids are out of the house and they're like, what do I do now?
What are some of the big takeaways, the kind of wisdom nuggets that you have been pulling from these conversations with women making all kinds of big changes?
Tamsen: Gosh, there's been so many. I thank you for asking that question. I always love to go back and think about that. I think what I'm getting from a lot of them, and which is really why I started some of those conversations that I was tackling, this idea of now what? Now what am I supposed to do in life? What happens next? And so, I found people from all different walks of life. I think that most of them have done what you and I are talking about, which is really being quiet and being honest with themselves about what it is they want to do. And they're finding that place, whatever it's some have turned to, decided they want to go from being a lawyer to actress. They've done different things, but they've really been able to be honest with themselves and they feel like they're off of the I should train.
And I think that that's a really nice place to be because I think it builds a lot of confidence in them and it allows them to spread that confidence going forward. So, I've noticed that quite a bit about these women. And I think one thing that they all have in common is a lot of discipline. They're very aware of who they are. They understand what's important as life is in relationships. That's what it's, and at the end of the day, that is all we have.
And I think they're not afraid to speak their truth and they've found their voices. And I think that that's a beautiful thing. And when I find somebody that, even if they're not doing anything, even if they're not doing a career anymore, but I've walked away from a career because they wanted to have more time to do something with a nonprofit or be at home, whatever it is that they want to do, they feel confident sitting in that. And I think that that's a big deal. I really do. I think when you can find that piece, it's a nice time.
Aviva: I wish so often that some of the wisdom and permission to pause, no pun intended with menopause, the permission to give ourselves a break and step away from relentless perfectionism and that “shoulding” on ourselves that you talked about is something that we could find 10 years younger, 20 years younger.,
Tamsen: Oh, me too.
Aviva: Just ourselves a break.
Tamsen: Somebody said to me one day, “You can't put an older head on young shoulders,” and I think it's his famous quote, and I said, “I don’t know what that means.” Now I totally know what it means when I try to impart my thoughts, which is why I try to do them in a fun way on social media, little blips and clips and nothing really deep. But when I try to do that every once in a while, I go, why aren't you understanding? You're going to really appreciate my words one day? Then I realize I wouldn't have appreciated those words. I would've told me to go away and that's it. But you're so right. I wish, listen, I wish I could have been her me 10 years ago, but I'm glad I finally got there and I'm glad it's not 10 years later.
Aviva: Well, and it's all an evolution. I mean, part of how we get to where we are now, especially if you have that kind of prominent career, is that hustle. And I think that so much of that is driven by the fact that to kind of James Brown, “It's a man's world”. The way that work is structured is very much driven in a non-female rhythmic way that doesn't suit us. How can we shift that in medicine? I think if we shifted that in medicine, more physicians would get training in menopause something like 90% of doctors. I know. I know menopause because I was a midwife first, not from what I learned in medical school.
Tamsen: It was so shocking to me. It's so shocking to me. We did some interviews at a function in LA and went from one doctor to another, all different kinds of doctors, whether it was a cardiologist or a therapist or a dermatologist, OB, and everybody said the same thing and I went, that's impossible everybody. But that's why we're here to change that.
Aviva: Absolutely. All right, I have a question. We've kind of talked about it, but it's a question I really love to ask my guests. If you could tell your younger self anything, how old would she be and what would you tell her?
Tamsen: It would be 26 because that was a pivotal time I think in my life, and I think I would tell her that there's a solution for everything pending, like a big health problem. You get it figured out, there's a solution, there's, you get to the other side, and I think that oftentimes at 26, everything was life or death. Everything was life or death. And now I look and I'm like, what was that problem I had an hour ago? Or what was that problem I had a week ago or a year ago? I can't even remember them. So, the hours and the minutes that we waste day to day was something that we think is insurmountable – it's going to get figured out. I think that's what I would tell her because I know that there were a lot of times that I thought it's this or nothing, and that wasn't the case.
Aviva: Tamsen, for the women listening who don't know where to find you, which is shocking to me that anybody would not know where to find you. We'll put all the deets in the show notes, but what are the places that you would most love listeners to come and hang out with you? Oh,
Tamsen: Yeah. I would love, we're on Instagram. I'm there at @Tamsenfadal. We have an incredible community that's there. My website, tamsenfadal.com if you want to come, I have a newsletter there as well, and just try to have conversations with everybody. I think that that's what's important. Obviously, I'm not an expert, but I'm certainly an expert listener and I'm an expert in conveying information, and so that's what we try to do there and have a good time doing it.
Aviva: Well, you are an expert. You're an expert in so many things. You're an expert in listening. You're an expert in telling stories. You're an expert in sorting through vast amounts of information to distill down to truth. You're an expert in your own body, and so I think we need to honor all of ourselves as experts.
Tamsen: You're right about that. I'm going to take that from you.
Aviva: Yes, please. Thank you so much for taking the time to join me.
Tamsen: Oh, it's such a pleasure.
Aviva: Such a pleasure to meet you and have this conversation with you. I look forward to your book, your documentary, more conversations. Thank you. Thank you everyone for joining us, and I hope you'll follow Tamsen, and I can't wait to see you next time.
