Understanding Your Menstrual Cycle + Returning to Cycle Sense

Like most of us, I had the requisite ‘health class’ in 4th grade where I learned precious little about anything – not even how to use a maxi pad or tampon, let alone how to track my menstrual cycle or how my moods, preferences, or energy might change throughout each month. 

It was in my early teens, a precocious young woman already on my way to becoming a home birth midwife, that I stumbled into a whole new world; one that included understanding how my menstrual cycle worked, when I was ovulating, how to track my cycles, and how to feel more empowered about menstruating. 

Then, in my late teens, already deeply cycle aware now from paying attention to what I called my “Cycle Sense” for several years, I was fortunate to gain a mentor who taught me a great deal more about the magic and power of menstruation, and also how to pay attention to the subtler aspects of my cycle. Herbalist, midwife, yoga teacher and Shoshone medicine woman,  Jeannine Parvati Baker, taught me to pay attention to things like my dreams, creativity, food preferences, sexual desires and needs, even what clothes I was selecting at different points in my cycle. 

I started noticing that I had major creative surges around ovulation (like hold me back, here comes another book proposal!), I wanted to socialize more, and I gravitated toward wearing sexier clothes and ooh la la did my sex drive ramp up. Then, around my moon time (aka period, okay, yes, letting my hippie wise woman self fly here), my energy felt more inward and I was inclined toward journaling, slower exercise like yoga, nesting at home, and warm, nourishing foods. These patterns repeated month after month – I knew them like the back of my hand. In fact,  my body was my period tracking app. 

If that feels foreign to you, you’re not alone. Most women don’t pay much attention to  their cycles beyond  knowing that they’ll have a period every month (give or take depending on your cycle length), and grabbing that box of pads or tampons at the pharmacy or grocery store, and hitting up some Motrin for cramps.

If it’s exciting, and I hope it is, I invite you into an entirely new way of understanding your cycles and hormones – as your inner-hormone GPS – and to learn to tap into your innate body wisdom – even if you do use a period tracking app, too. Knowing the language of your cycles is not only empowering and really interesting, your menstrual cycle is your 6th Vital Sign and can tell you a tremendous amount about your hormonal and overall health. There’s more to our cycles than meets the eye. Hormones are the secret language of our body – the little whispers that create the background music of our life, set the tone for how we feel, act as messengers to alert us to a problem, and supply us with endless information about the state of our well-being.  

Our Inner Hormone GPS

While we’re generally familiar with the idea that our hormones and cycles influence our moods, there’s a lesser-known spectrum of subtle, under-the-radar cues that our hormones communicate throughout our menstrual cycles. Our biology is truly functioning with a profound level of innate intelligence (hormone intelligence). 

Research shows that the natural fluctuations of estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone during the phases of your menstrual cycle – and your whole life cycle from puberty through menopause – influence everything, not just the obvious mood shifts that occur, but also your energy, sleep, appetite, weight, focus, sex drive, hair, skin, even our digestion. They also influence our food and exercise preferences, our endurance and pain tolerance, and even the clothes we select – and the mate(s) we desire – as well as our decision-making about said mates. Good stuff to know! 

How We’ve Lost Touch With Our Inner Knowing

Our culture constantly urges us to ignore or override our inner knowing and dismisses giving too much credence to how we feel, much as medicine encourages us to override pain, moods, and hormones. On top of it, the cultural caricature of women as “hysterical” makes us judge and suppress our emotions or blame them on our hormones, and deny that our hormones affect us at all. So we never learn to tap into our very real inner compass. 

Over time, this disconnect turns to ignoring our own body awareness. We no longer hear or feel the small but powerful messages that our hormones are sending – through both emotional and physical cues –  that can provide us with important self-knowing and health cues. 

Cycle Sense:

Inner Guidance for Understanding Your Menstrual Cycle

Instead of seeing hormonal fluctuations as the enemy that makes us feel crazy or emotional, we can use these biological cues – including our emotions – in a way that we’re working with, rather than against our bodies, making shifts in our daily and monthly lifestyle to the extent that we’re able, that keep us more in harmony with our needs and natural inclinations – for example, for more rest, for a different type of exercise that day or week, or to skip that Zoom gathering and read a book. 

These aren’t just some woo-woo period ideas or ‘old wives’ wisdom (though old wives’ wisdom has a great deal of value so I’m not knocking it); scientists and researchers are finally exploring and understanding this as part of our biology and making profound discoveries. .

Understanding and tapping into my “Cycle Sense” provided me with profound inner knowing  throughout my 20s and into my early 50s. It gave me a profound understanding of and compassion for the shifts my hormones took me through throughout my menstrual cycles. This knowing helped me to understand why I felt the ways I did at various phases of my cycle, and how to better nourish and support myself. Now that I’m solidly into menopause, I can look back and see just how much that knowing also informed my decisions, well-being, and how much my hormones acted as a force that influenced my life. 

Here’s a glimpse of the subtle cues your hormones can provide to you through each phase of your cycle (when your hormones are in balance and your cycles are healthy). These can tell you where you are in your menstrual cycle, and suggest shifts you might make in your daily life to support your innate hormonal state. Of course we all have our natural variations – many women get profoundly and creatively inspired premenstrually, some still love to pound the pavement with a good run during their periods, and solid studies show us that contrary to popular belief, having a period doesn’t make us ’dumber,’ cognitively slower, or less capable of higher level physics, accounting, or crushing your MCAT. 

During the Follicular Phase (From Your Period to Ovulation)

What you might notice and shifts you can make to support yourself during this phase: 

• Energy and Creativity: The estrogen boost during this phase can lead to sharpened focus, decision making, and memory. It may be a great time to apply for that job you’ve been wanting, take that interview, apply to that graduate program, or dig into creating that business plan you’ve been putting off.
• Mind and Mood: Estrogen will reach its peak, bringing a calm and optimistic headspace, while a higher level of testosterone enhances energy, confidence, and motivation. You might be eager to socialize, connect with girlfriends, or go out on the town. You might even notice estrogen-driven clearer skin and more symmetrical features that make you feel more attractive and sexier to yourself! Studies show a keener ability for recognizing facial expressions and more empathy as a result.
• Sleep: Higher estrogen levels may help sleep come easier now, but if not, use these sleep tips, and know that good sleep should return when progesterone ramps up during the second half of your cycle. 
• Food: Hormonal changes make your sense of smell and taste especially sensitive. Cravings and appetite typically subside as you head towards ovulation so it’s common to feel more at home in your body. 
• Exercise: An energy boost and urge to move around and be more active might inspire you to enjoy some higher intensity workouts so this is a great time to embrace riding your bike, jumping rope, and lifting weights. 
• Sex and Relationships: For several days before we ovulate, rising testosterone and estrogen most likely increase your sex drive – in a big way. 

Around Ovulation 

What you might notice and shifts you can make to support yourself during this phase: 

• Energy and Creativity: Our mental alertness and focus are high and our ability to learn new information super sharp. One study showed that we’re especially adept at innovative problem solving.
• Mind and Mood: Ovulation usually puts us at the peak of energy, desire, mood, and optimism. We’re more inclined to get together with our girlfriends, go out and mingle, and take a bigger chance on life! 
• Sleep: The peak in estrogen we experience mid-cycle can be a great help to sleep, though some women need progesterone on board to get their zzzz’s on – but good news, progesterone starts to rise soon after you ovulate and that’s when delicious sleep happens.
• Food: Leading up to and during ovulation we tend to eat less and exercise more – our evolutionary biology pushing us toward mate hunting over food hunting! Consequently, we find ourselves with fewer cravings, along with hormonally-powered higher willpower and energy.
• Exercise: Ovulation is a great time to engage in more social forms of exercise – hitting the gym or taking that yoga class. 
• Sex and Relationships: This is where stuff gets really juicy and interesting! High estrogen and testosterone levels boost sexual desires and pleasure way up – it’s the time of month that it’s easiest to experience orgasm, including that toe-curling kind. It’s nature’s sneaky way of trying to get us to reproduce. We unconsciously turn the flame way up, and potential mates are like moths. We’re much more likely to put a premium on attractiveness, dress in sexier clothing (whatever that means for you) and accessorize – which can also lead us to binge shop – so beware! This is also a time when we’re naturally drawn to socialize, particularly in places where potential mates might be found. 

During the Luteal Phase (Between Ovulation and Your Period)

What you might notice and shifts you can make to support yourself during this phase: 

• Energy and Creativity: The end of the luteal phase (and the first day or two of your period) is the energy low point of the month for most women, so give yourself a pass – this is normal. Shifts in your brainwaves during this time may make you crave quiet, alone time. It’s a great time to give yourself permission to pause, slow down, and rest if you feel you need it. You may find that you’re in a creative ”zone,” but prefer turning inward for journaling or artistic expression. Many also find this to be a highly intuitive time when their inner life is closer to the surface, revealing unmet needs and frustrations. It can feel like you got a dose of truth serum – so a good time to think before you speak or hit send on an email – and an important time for self-nurturing and meeting your own needs.
• Mind and Mood:  About a week before your period, declining estrogen levels can lead to lower moods, lower energy, and a feeling of being “depleted.” That sunny ovulation energy may give way to a more internalized feeling and the desire to spend more time quietly and introspectively. If you do have PMS symptoms, this is when you may start to dread, or feel them. You may feel more emotionally heightened, reactive, easily irritated or sensitive to critical comments. 
• Sleep: During the first half of the luteal phase, progesterone starts to rise so you may notice that you feel more peaceful and get deeply restful sleep. But in the few days leading up to the start of your period, estrogen and progesterone levels take a dive. Sleep can get disturbed and dreams can be vivid, even weird – some women report violent or bloody dreams. I call it dreaming in red. My own dreams have included vampire attacks with me invariably waking up to the start of my period. 
• Food: The final days of the luteal phase throw a curveball into your healthy eating and exercise patterns. Studies show that our food intake increases by as much as 10 percent in the second half of the luteal phase with a higher preference for sweet and fatty foods, possibly due to higher energy demands from our body. Since the feel-good neurotransmitter serotonin is in lower supply right now, your genius brain gets you craving pasta, pastries, and sugar since serotonin can also be produced from carbohydrates. This is also the classic time for chocolate cravings, which may (or may not) be due to a desire for more magnesium during this time. You may also crave red meat and other iron-rich foods to avoid anemia during your period. If you know that your need for carbs goes up and other unhealthy foods cravings creep to the surface, feed your body what you’re really craving: healthy, whole-food carbs, quality, unprocessed fats, and iron-rich foods.
• Exercise: While keeping up your usual exercise routine is great if you’re motivated, you may find yourself wanting something gentler. Women recover from muscle damage more slowly during this time so make sure you balance high intensity exercise with a good warm up and wind down, and trust your instincts if a more relaxed, gentler exercise routine appeals to you more.
• Sex and Relationships: As estrogen drops, you might find your libido does too. Increased vaginal dryness might also make intercourse less comfortable, tanking your sex drive further. That said, some women find that the increased pelvic pressure and fuller sensations in their genitalia just before and at the start of their period increase their desire, with increased pelvic blood flow leading to hell-yeah orgasms.

During Your Period 

What you might notice and shifts you can make to support yourself during this phase: 

• Energy and Creativity: It’s natural to want to slow down the first few days of your period. Giving yourself time to hit pause for a day or two, taking some extra time for self-care, and practicing good sleep habits can help you get through these initial days. But while your energy might feel low at the beginning, many women feel a renewed sense of energy midway through their period as estrogen levels start to climb back up.
• Mind and Mood: As opposed to the “irrational” “out of control” stereotype that’s typically portrayed, hormonal changes during your period may actually activate your willpower – so it’s a great time to dust off those resolutions you’ve made – because this phase of the cycle may enhance your ability to stick to them. 
• Sleep: Low progesterone and estrogen levels can make it harder to sleep at the start of your period, and you may find yourself having vivid dreams. This is a great time to turn on some soothing music or a sleep meditation app, and to be more mindful of supportive sleep practices.
• Food: A drop in estrogen decreases the feel-good neurotransmitter serotonin, making you crave ”comfort foods” and low blood sugar may accentuate this, possibly making you feel more irritable and a little “hangry.” This is an important time to nourish with healthful foods, and include some whole grains and healthy carbs in your diet rather than go nuts on bags of cookies and pints of Ben & Jerry’s. That said, good dark chocolate is fair game and may also ease the period blues. 
• Exercise: More than half of women ditch their workouts during their period because they  just don’t feel like it. That’s cool, but most are then left frustrated about it after. So here’s a workaround, because exercise during your period can improve your mood and relieve cramps. Instead of bailing on your workouts during this week, consider a gentler approach to your routine: try a nature walk, yoga, or Pilates, dancing to some great tunes, or doing something gentle that still feels like healthy movement.
• Sex and Relationships: Lower estrogen and testosterone plus a desire for down time (and possible cramps) may put sex low on your priorities list during your period – or you may just feel awkward about it or not want to deal with the messiness. If you want to pass, pass. But it is absolutely okay to have sex if you’re into it and orgasms during this time can be amazing, and relieve cramps and  pelvic tension. 

Play to Your Strengths

We can make shifts in our daily practices that keep us more in harmony with our cyclic rhythms. You can use your cycle awareness to understand your energy levels, natural emotional ups and downs, creative ebbs and flows, sleep patterns, and if you want to really get creative with it, to optimize your life journey by adapting your social calendar, diet, and when you start new plans and commitments. As you get more in-tune with your body signs, this becomes even easier to do and you can layer in more nuanced practices as you identify your own preferences and needs.

Not noticing the shifts I describe below during your cycle? That may just be your normal variation – but, for example, if you don’t get good sleep during your luteal phase, it may be due to low progesterone, intense insatiable cravings or miserable mood swings premenstrually could mean you’re struggling with PMS, and of course, not cycling regularly at all can mean a variety of hormonal imbalances. While we don’t have to be limited by our biology, our health can improve just by paying more attention to our cycles – and living in harmony with our hormones.

Living with Cycle-Sense

With decades of ignoring or suppressing our natural hormonal rhythms, we need to not only be intentional about making the space for this in our lives, but even defiant against the cultural norms that continue to devalue women’s knowing, and our bodies and hormones.

To hear the messages our hormones are sending, we have to practice listening – and be deliberate about it. Make time throughout the day and over the arc of your life to deliberately get quiet, feel (rather than just think), and notice what’s coming up for you, and have a way to track these – whether in a journal, on a ‘moon calendar’ or by using a period tracking app. 

All women in their menstrual years should become aware of their cycle – the length of the menstrual cycle itself, duration of flow, whether you’re having signs of ovulation, and whether they’re experiencing more than normal signs of cyclic hormone shifts. You can do this by keeping a chart, calendar, or using an app. There are various tracking methods including menstrual cycle charting, cervical mucus tracking, and basal body temperature (BBT).

As you learn about each phase of your cycle, you’ll tune into hormone-driven fluctuations in your sleep, energy expenditure, sexual desire, food cravings and needs, and more. You’ll learn what being ‘hormonal’ means for you, and how to leverage your inner wisdom to make choices that give you the greatest sense of power, confidence, and ease.

I welcome you to reclaim the knowledge that’s been hidden from us for too long, to honor your inner wisdom, step into your natural power, and embrace all sides of the beautiful being that is you. And my biggest takeaway – listen to your body and really trust the messages – because after all, our hormones are literally chemical messengers. They have a lot to say throughout all of our life cycles.